Oxytocin – the love hormone
Most processes in the human body are regulated by hormones – including love and affection. Scientific research shows that it only takes a few minutes for the brain to fall in love. At the same time, the key factors in the “birth of love” are body signals (55%), followed by the tone and tempo of the voice (38%), while the words directly spoken are the least important (7%).
Experts distinguish three phases of love, each of which is regulated by special hormones produced in the body. Moreover, if in the first stages of falling in love a person’s behavior is regulated directly by sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen), then the hormone oxytocin is responsible for the formation of strong and stable attachment.
The first phase of love: passion
The primary phase of love in both men and women is regulated primarily by sex hormones – testosterone and estrogen, respectively. The main trigger for the production of these hormones is the smell of another person (so-called “pheromones” or biological markers), followed by physical characteristics.
It is believed that in this way our body tests a potential sexual partner for compatibility of the gene combination, since people most like the smell that is similar to the smell of their own parents. However, at this phase we are talking more about sexual attraction to each other, but not about the emergence of “real feelings”.
Second phase of love: attraction
The main difference between the second phase of love is that the brain seems to become fixated on the object of love, significantly reducing the ability to concentrate on other people and tasks. The regulatory hormones of this phase are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. A person begins to experience incredible pleasure from the presence of the object of love nearby.
Adrenaline is responsible for flushed cheeks and increased heart rate, serotonin (called the feel-good hormone) brings feelings of happiness and euphoria, and dopamine is associated with pleasant or positive experiences. Essentially, the brain enters a state similar to the use of cocaine, MDMA (ecstasy) and other synthetic drugs.
The third phase of love: attachment
The task of the third phase of love, the longest and deepest, is to maintain long-term unity of the couple, sufficient to raise children. The main hormones of this stage are oxytocin and vasopressin. In adults, the hormone oxytocin is produced during lovemaking, and in infants – when breastfeeding.
Oxytocin is thought to be a key hormone that promotes feelings of relatedness, closeness, and trust in another person. It is also interesting that it is oxytocin that makes you feel discomfort in the absence of the object of love nearby – thus, the brain seems to require “doping” received during physical contact with a loved one.
How does the hormone oxytocin work?
Scientific research suggests that when you are close to your partner, oxytocin produces feelings of satisfaction, calmness, and decreased anxiety. Scientists have proven a direct connection between oxytocin and increased trust and decreased levels of fear. Among other things, oxytocin indirectly affects the reduction of the production of the stress hormone cortisol .
In men, under the influence of oxytocin, empathy (the ability to understand the mood of other people by facial expressions) improves, they begin to look their interlocutor in the eyes more often, and also become more trusting. In women, the hormone oxytocin regulates attachment both to the object of love and to their child (especially a newborn).
How to fall in love: scientific formula
Psychology professor Arthur Arun from the University of Toronto has developed a universal formula for falling in love. Find a stranger who looks more or less like you, talk to him or her for thirty minutes about the personal details of your life, then look intently into their eyes for 3-5 minutes.
In the course of the doctor’s research, many of the participants in the experiments began to feel a clear attraction to each other, and the two couples eventually got married. Moreover, according to the scientist’s conclusions, the most important moment in the emergence of a feeling of love is a close look into the eyes. Perhaps it is at this moment that the souls of lovers begin to unite.
Teenagers’ first crush
Another study of the processes of the emergence of love suggests that in young people and adolescents, the first two phases of love (passion and attraction) are often much more pronounced than the third phase. Psychologists believe that in this way, nature smoothly prepares the body for the powerful effects of oxytocin, which firmly binds two people together.
If physical contact leads to a sharp surge in sex hormones and pleasure hormones, then oxytocin forms a strong and trusting family. In fact, the hormone oxytocin directly affects how the brain perceives reality and processes incoming information, while changing a person’s sense of self from “one” to “pair.”
Oxytocin is not just a love hormone that acts sharply and instantly (like, for example, testosterone, which is responsible for sexual attraction). Oxytocin is the key that opens the human brain and consciousness to the profound changes necessary for the long-term coexistence of two individuals in a close and trusting relationship with each other.